


hot blondie is dying for a footlong or whatever

by ratsofthecaribbean



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Face-Fucking, Hulk Sex (Marvel), M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, in that he fucks around and finds out but most importantly can't die, mostly bruce tho bc professor hulk is the ultimate chad or whatever, neither safe nor sane because hulk sex never is but very much consensual, thor in this is very much like rasputin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 18:41:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29704902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratsofthecaribbean/pseuds/ratsofthecaribbean
Summary: Imma be real with you chief I had no idea what to title this it's just hulk porn :/
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	hot blondie is dying for a footlong or whatever

“I don’t know about this.” Bruce stayed in the doorway, as Thor giddily made for the nearest workbench, climbing onto it with ease and making himself comfortable. Even after five years of drinking and seemingly nothing else, he was still agile. Still  _ sturdy,  _ Bruce reminded himself. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Thor sounded a lot more disappointed than what he’d probably intended. He leaned back, pouting slightly and letting his legs fall open, which certainly didn’t help Bruce stay strong. Was he doing it intentionally? 

“It’s not-  _ God,  _ it’s not that I don’t want to,” he said and noted that Thor immediately looked a lot more cheerful.  _ Sturdy,  _ he mentally repeated. Fresh out of a depressive episode or not, Thor was a god. He’d handled worse, surely…

“You know I wouldn’t want to hurt you…” He’d barely finished his sentence before Thor laughed. 

“Of course I know that. And you know you wouldn’t have a chance to.” He shifted again, spreading his legs further with a challenging smile. He was definitely doing it intentionally. And really, who were Bruce not to appreciate the effort. He just had to keep his self control, and that was something he’d had a lot of practice with. 

Smiling to himself, he stepped closer, until Thor’s knees brushed the insides of his thighs and the god of thunder had to lean back to look him in the eyes. He had to admit, that was quite the sensation, especially as Thor stretched up to meet him in a kiss. It started out deep, with Thor parting his lips, and tilting his head to make it easy for Bruce to explore his mouth. 

“Just let me know when you need a break.” Bruce pulled back for a moment, short of breath already. “Promise.” 

“I promise.” Thor nodded enthusiastically, then went back in for another kiss. His hands came to rest in Bruce’s hair, and Bruce was vaguely aware of the sound of softly crackling electricity. He moved even closer, feeling himself grow hard and seeking out some kind of friction. His bulge pressed against Thor’s leg and to his delight, it made him gasp. 

“If we really are gonna give this a shot,” Bruce murmured against Thor’s lips. “Mind taking your clothes off, dearest?” 

Thor just nodded, nearly smacking their foreheads together. He leaned back and pulled his tank top off, then wasted no time in getting to his shorts and finally his boxers. His cock sprung free, already hard and reddened, and for a moment it looked like he was moving to touch himself, but then he got back to his original position, patiently waiting for Bruce to get undressed. 

Bruce took his time, first and foremost to fully take in the sight of Thor, flushed and eagerly waiting for him. He finished unbuttoning his dress shirt and let it fall to the ground, then unzipped his pants slowly. He still had to keep his composure, he reminded himself. 

The air felt cool against his naked cock, as he finally pulled his pants down and kicked them to the side. It had been ages since he last wore any underwear, mostly because he hadn't been sure how to breach the topic of custom made ones to fit his size with…well anyone, really. It felt a bit embarrassing. 

Unlike Thor, he was far from fully hard, but that didn't stop Thor from positively drooling at the sight of him. 

“You’re huge,” he said, as if that wasn’t fairly obvious, and Bruce nodded, not feeling the need for humility at this particular moment. 

“That’s why having sex is a bad idea,” he tried to say, but it didn’t look like Thor heard him. He just motioned for Bruce to come closer, and Bruce obliged. His reasonable approach to the situation was starting to feel more and more distant because  _ damn  _ it had been long, and Thor was here, so willing…

“Can I suck you off?” 

“What?!” 

“You know.” There was a gleam in Thor’s eyes, and he licked his lips. “Your dick. My mouth. Surely you know about that here on Earth.” 

“I know what it means, Thor. But I don’t think it’s possible.” Bruce tried to sound authoritative, but just the thought of it had his cock twitching. Of Thor, struggling to even get his lips around Bruce, or even better, actually succeeding in his wild endeavor.  _ We won’t know unless we try… _

“We won’t know unless we try,” Thor echoed the small, treacherous voice in the back of Bruce’s mind. “Then again…” 

He swallowed, his eyes falling to Bruce’s cock, which was almost fully hard now. Bruce tried to tell himself that he hoped Thor would be at least a little intimidated by the size, but it was becoming apparent that Thor wasn’t going to quit, and that Bruce didn’t mind his stubbornness at all.

“I’ve got it!” Thor suddenly lit up and started moving, pulling his legs up on the workbench and turning around so that he had his back to Bruce. Then, he laid down, letting his head fall back over the edge and giving Bruce a devilish grin.

“I don’t know…,” Bruce said weakly. 

“Please, just let me try.” Thor was starting to sound a bit desperate. “Do you want me to beg for it? Because I'm not above begging.” 

Bruce felt his breath hitch at the word, and Thor must have noticed, because he cleared his throat as if to deliver a soliloquy and then spoke. 

“Please, Bruce. Please take your big, beautiful cock and fuck my throat until I pass out.” 

He let his mouth hang open, inviting, and Bruce’s hand went to his cock, almost instinctively giving himself a few strokes. The spikes of pleasure that shot through him were enough to crumble what little of his iron will still held him in place, and he slowly stepped forward. 

“Tap out when you need to, okay?” He mumbled as he braced himself with his right hand on the workbench, using his left to guide his cock in place, just against Thor’s lips. It was going to be a tight fit, he could already tell, and Thor must realize it too. But all he did was give a muffled “Of course!” and a thumbs up. 

Bruce drew a shaky breath, and gripped the workbench tight, as he slowly pushed forward. Thor’s lips were soft, but his teeth stung slightly. It was exhilarating, and probably for the best, since the small, but noticeable, hint of pain helped keep Bruce grounded. 

Another deep breath, another push forward. He could feel the walls of Thor’s throat working around him now, and even more electric shocks when Thor grabbed onto his arms for support. Tingles ran through him as he looked down, and reached out to gently brush against the outline of his own cock, faintly visible on Thor’s throat. He tried a small thrust, and had to bite back a growl. It really was tight, enough for him to feel himself getting dangerously close to the breaking point, and he couldn't stop himself from keeping his thrusts up. He was still going slow, but with each stroke he pushed deeper, encouraged by Thor’s choked back moaning. Each little noise of pleasure he made sent vibrations along Bruce's cock, and spurred him on until he was fully buried in Thor. 

“Fuck,” was all he could manage to stutter, and got an even less comprehensible response, as Thor tried to make what sounded like an encouraging noise. 

“You okay?” Bruce asked, after taking a moment to compose himself, and got another thumbs up back, albeit shakier now. 

“Alright,” he said. “Then I’m going to fuck you now, if that’s okay?” 

Thor kept his thumb raised, and Bruce began to slowly pull out, stopping when only the tip of his cock was inside Thor’s mouth. Then, he snapped his hips forward, burying himself completely again and got a choked cry from Thor in response. He pulled back without pause now, and fucked into Thor hard enough to rock the workbench. To begin with, he tried to keep a low, even pace, but it wasn’t long before he lost himself to the heat and friction completely. All he could focus on besides it were Thor’s hands gripping his own, much larger ones, tight enough to bruise. 

“I’m not- I don’t think I’ll last longer,” Bruce warned through gritted teeth. It was almost a whine, but he couldn’t find it in him to care, especially not when Thor’s hands immediately grabbed onto his hips and held on hard. Without being able to speak, Thor couldn’t get much clearer than that with his intentions and Bruce groaned slightly. 

“God, you’re crazy.” He picked his pace back up, with Thor continuing to hold onto his hips, and rocking along with his thrusts. His breathing was getting shallow and uneven, and for every time he pushed in he couldn’t help but moan. He was getting so close, so very, very close and just a little more- 

A particularly strong shock suddenly hit him, and Bruce cried out as he came hard. He pushed himself as deep as he could, feeling cum leak out of Thor’s mouth and drip down his balls. Still, Thor held on tight, pulling Bruce closer and encouraging him to stay in place until he finished cumming. 

Bruce was panting by the time he pulled out, but still managed to keep his mind clear enough to check on Thor, helping him sit back up amid violent coughing. 

“That was…” His voice was raspy, and he had to cut himself off to take a deep breath. “That was amazing.” 

“It was,” Bruce agreed, stroking Thor’s hair. “Now let’s get you cleaned up, dear.” 

“You’re still hard, though.” 

That was true, and a bit of a problem, but Bruce had just figured he would have to deal with it later. It was one of the side effects of his transformation, and not something he’d anticipated. He hadn’t exactly collected any data of how many times in a row he was able to get off nowadays, and that was starting to seem like a bit of an oversight. 

“Yeah, uh-” Bruce suddenly felt a bit awkward. “I’ve had that problem before, don’t worry about it.” 

“I’m not worried.” Thor frowned. “What, you don’t think I can take another load?” 

“I’m not talking  _ one  _ more.” 

Thor’s face lit up, and Bruce sighed. 

“You really want this?” He looked into Thor’s eyes, trying his hardest to find any hint of doubt, but of course, there was nothing but excitement. 

“I do.” Thor nodded enthusiastically, but then got more serious. “Only if you do too, of course. But you don’t have to worry about me. I promise.” 

He leaned forward, then paused mid-motion to wipe his face with the back of his arm before going in for a quick kiss. 

“So, Bruce.” He murmured against Bruce’s lips. “Let’s pretend, just for a moment, that you’re not worried at all. What would you want to do?” 

_ Just for a moment.  _ Bruce shuddered as he pulled Thor flush against him, aligning their cocks so that his own laid heavy over Thor’s and rolling his hips to grind them against each other. Thor moaned softly as Bruce began to mumble in his ear. 

“I wanna fuck you so bad...I wanna make you feel good...Feel so good you’ll never be satisfied with any other cock again.” Thor’s breath audibly hitched, and Bruce continued, letting his hands fall to Thor’s ass and pulling him even closer. 

“I wanna watch you as you take it. I want you to struggle and I wanna make you take every inch.” His voice was almost a growl by now. “If I could, I’d have you over every surface in here. I’d make sure you couldn’t walk for weeks, but I’d make it feel so good for you, dearest.” 

“So do that,” Thor finally responded, breathy and still so impossibly willing. “I’m here. I’m not gonna break, and I want you. Don’t make it complicated.” 

Bruce laid Thor back, still grinding against his stomach and getting the loveliest noises for it. He looked down, taking in the expressions Thor made. His eyes had fluttered shut and his jaw was slack, but there was still the hint of a thoroughly pleased smile there, and Bruce made a decision. 

"We'll need lube," he said. "Lots of it." 

Thor’s eyes snapped open at that, and he positively beamed up at Bruce. 

"Way ahead of you, big guy." He motioned with a shoulder towards his discarded pants. "Check the pockets." 

“You truly think of everything.” Bruce couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as he quickly found a big bottle of lubricant stuffed away in Thor’s back pocket. How he’d been able to miss it, he had no idea. 

“Was just being optimistic.” Thor propped himself up on his elbows and his eyes stayed glued to Bruce’s hands as he opened the bottle. “And it paid off, didn’t it?” 

“Sure did,” Bruce agreed. He took a moment to consider how to proceed, then poured a generous amount of lubricant over his index finger. It wasn’t ideal for prepping, but Thor didn’t look like he was in the mood for anything slower and quite frankly, Bruce wasn’t either. 

He began by circling Thor’s hole, putting pressure on it to loosen him up. He would have to work him quite a bit, even if Thor was proving very easy to get to relax, so he ignored everything else, only focusing on getting Thor to open up. 

He gave it some time, then added more lube before slowly pressing his finger in. For now, he could only manage about one knuckle, but it gave him the opportunity to work Thor open from a new angle. Soon, he could get his finger in deeper, and brushed against Thor’s prostate, getting a soft moan in response. 

“That feel good?” He asked and Thor nodded. “Think you can cum for me just from that?” 

He punctuated his question by directly rubbing against Thor’s sweet spot now, and Thor threw his head back with a cry. 

“Yes…” He drew the word out, until it was almost a whine. “Yes, but I wouldn’t mind some more.” 

“Patience, dearest," Bruce hummed and then, admittedly contradicting himself slightly, added a second finger. It was a bit tough to get in, but once he did, he could quite comfortably fuck Thor with his fingers, keeping a steady pace until Thor couldn't even hold himself up anymore, instead laying down and arching his back to meet Bruce's thrusts. 

The lights in the room began to flicker, and Bruce leaned down, slowly licking up Thor’s shaft while he spread his fingers. The reaction was instantaneous, Thor crying out and tightening around Bruce’s fingers as he spilled himself over his stomach. Bruce straightened his back again, satisfied with his work, and continued working Thor open throughout his climax. He continued way after it had passed, Thor now even more relaxed and easy to prepare. Even so, he took his due time before finally pulling his fingers out. 

Thor made a noise like he was about to complain, but it seemed to get caught in his throat, as he looked up. Bruce couldn’t help but smirk, at the sight of the self-proclaimed strongest Avenger flushed and panting, and with his eyes glued to Bruce’s cock. He reached for the lube again, pouring it over his cock and giving himself a few strokes to properly spread it out, before he lined himself up at Thor’s entrance. 

“Ready?” He was using the cracked workbench for support again, and was vaguely aware that they’d probably have to replace it after this. 

“Ready.” Thor grinned confidently. “And don’t you dare go easy on me.” 

“I couldn’t if I tried.” 

Bruce took a deep breath. His hands were starting to tremble slightly, and he had to grit his teeth to the point where it was almost painful as he pushed in. He forced himself to go slowly, but even with that, just a few inches was enough to draw a loud, high-pitched moan from Thor. 

“See, I told you.” Bruce smiled sweetly as he pushed further, feeling a bead of sweat roll down his temple. Thor’s chest was heaving, and he seemed to struggle to compose himself as he looked up at Bruce, with some attempt at a challenging smile.  _ ‘I’m here. I’m not gonna break, and I want you. Don’t make it complicated.’,  _ his voice echoed in Bruce’s head. 

“You’re going-” Thor’s own panting was cutting him off, but it didn’t make him falter. “You’re going  _ way  _ easy.” 

“That so?” Bruce snapped his hips forward, pushing the last few inches in one smooth motion, and the noise Thor made was more akin to a battle cry than a moan. There was the distinct sound of thunder outside the facility, and static electricity made Bruce’s skin tingle, but he didn’t let it distract him. He only gave Thor a moment to adjust before he started thrusting, and didn’t bother building his pace up slowly. The slapping of skin on skin mixed with Thor’s moaning and the crackling of electricity, and Bruce felt himself shiver, overwhelmed by the sounds, and the tightness of Thor around him. 

He kept it up for a while, then pulled out and hauled Thor up easily, putting an arm around his stomach and one under his thigh for support, as he turned him around so that his back was against Bruce’s chest. Thor’s head fell back against his shoulder as Bruce lowered him down on his cock and got back to fucking him. The new angle let him go deeper than before, and with each thrust he could feel Thor’s stomach bulge. 

“I’m gonna finish soon.” He leaned down to whisper in Thor’s ear. “Want me to cum in you, dearest? Fill you up?” 

“Yes please…” Thor’s voice was drawn out, and slightly slurred as if he were drunk. 

“Of course, dearest.” Bruce placed a kiss on Thor’s cheek, and picked up his pace, gripping Thor’s thigh hard. He must have still been sensitive, because when Bruce shifted the hand wrapped around his waist to his cock it only took a few strokes before he came. Bruce soon followed, sent over the edge by the way Thor’s ass tightened around him. He rocked them both through it, only stilling once he was fully satisfied, and Thor slumped against him like a ragdoll. 

“That enough for you, dearest?” Bruce only got an indistinguishable mumble in response, and had to lean forward slightly.

“What was that?” He asked. 

“I said that you said that you were gonna make sure I couldn’t walk.” Thor punctuated the sentence with a slight, demonstrative kick against Bruce’s leg. “So get on it, big guy.” 

“Alright then.” It seemed Bruce hadn’t had to worry so much after all, and it had been a long time since he was this happy to be proven wrong. He considered for a moment then, without pulling out, he sank to his knees and let Thor support himself on his elbows. From this position he could really loom over Thor, and he revelled in the feeling as he supported himself on one hand, way over Thor’s head, and used the other to grab onto Thor’s hip. 

It only took a few hard thrusts before Thor was sent forwards, face against the floor and moaning into his crossed arms. Bruce’s pace was less controlled now, he realized, purely driven by his own desire, his need for relief. He tried to talk, but it came out chopped up and barely coherent, interrupted by his own low moaning. All he could manage were scattered encouraging words and curses, and soon even that was too much, as he gritted his teeth and spilled himself in Thor’s ass a second time. 

Even after that he kept going, until he wasn’t entirely sure how many times he had come. It was only a few times, but things were starting to get a bit hazy in the post-sex daze and he couldn’t be bothered with specifics, as he finally pulled out of Thor and laid down beside him, panting. 

“See, I told you.” He looked up to see Thor leaning over him, with a very self-satisfied smile on his face. “You don’t have to be careful with me.” 

“I’ll keep it in mind for next time.” Bruce couldn’t help but smile back. While certainly as cheerful as before they’d started, Thor looked an absolute mess, his hair tangled and standing on end, and his beard sticky. 

“We’ll have to get you cleaned up, dearest.” Bruce reached up to brush a strand of hair out of his face and Thor leaned into the gentle touch, his smile turning soft. 

“I’ll expect help with that. First though-” He leaned in and placed a quick kiss on Bruce’s lips. “Thank you.” 

“Thank  _ you _ .” Bruce pulled him closer, returning the kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to comment kind and encouraging words v_v and let it be known I went to great lengths to research the hulk's theoretical dick size and then didn't even mention my findings


End file.
